Babylon 5




John Sheridan; "The universe doesn't give you any points for doing things that are easy."	Delenn; "If the universe puts a mystery in front of us as a gift, then politeness requires that we at least try and solve it."	Londo Mollari; "The universe is already insane. Anything else would be redundant."	G'Kar; "But we can't be free, till we learn to laugh at ourselves. Once you look in the mirror and see just how foolish we can be. Laughter is inevitable. And from laughter comes wisdom."
Susan Ivanova; "I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."		Vir Cotto; "I don't believe this. What is it with this place? I mean, last week someone tries to assassinate Sheridan, and now someone tries to poison Londo. My God! What is wrong with you people? Don't you have anything else better to do? Why don't you get a hobby? Read a book or something?"
Michael Garibaldi; "Somebody should have labelled the future: 'some assembly required'."

Londo Mollari: Ah, arrogance and stupidity all in the same package. How efficient of you.

Vir Cotto: I don't believe this. What is it with this place? I mean, last week someone tries to assassinate Sheridan, and now someone tries to poison Londo. My God! What is wrong with you people? Don't you have anything else better to do? Why don't you get a hobby? Read a book or something?

Susan Ivanova: I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate.

Michael Garibaldi: Maybe somebody should have labelled the future 'Some assembly required.'

Delenn: If the universe puts a mystery in front of us as a gift, then politeness requires that we at least try and solve it.

Londo Mollari: The universe is already insane. Anything else would be redundant.

G'Kar: No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power governments, and tyrants, and armies cannot stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free!

John Sheridan: Are you trying to cheer me up?

Susan Ivanova: No sir, wouldn't dream of it.

John Sheridan: Good, I hate being cheered up.

Susan Ivanova: In that case we're all going to die slow, agonizing deaths.

John Sheridan: Thank you, I feel so much better now.

Lord Refa: Why should I do as you say?

Londo Mollari: Because I have asked you; because your sense of duty to our people should override any personal ambition; and because I have poisoned your drink.

Londo Mollari: Yes... and it is very interesting poison. It comes in two parts. Both are harmless on their own. But when combined... quite lethal. The first. settles into the bloodstream, and the intestinal walls. It stays there for years. Silent... Dormant... Waiting... When the other half of the poison enters your system the two meet, have a little party in your cardiovascular system. And suddenly, you are quite dead.

G'Kar: [to Londo after they discover the Centauri are still building warships during peace time] Well, with everyone now on the same side, perhaps you're planning to invade yourselves for a change. I find the idea curiously appealing. Once you've finished killing each other, we can plow under all the buildings and plant rows of flowers that spell out the words, "Too annoying to live" in letters big enough to be seen from space.

Londo Mollari: No. No!, this report is totally inappropriate. You have to do it again.

Vir Cotto: But Londo, why? I've spent weeks working on this report. I didn't even sleep on the flight back from Minbar so I could go over it again. I've checked every single detail myself. It's absolutely accurate.

Londo Mollari: Yes, Vir, I'm sure it is. And that is the problem. Here, you say: 'The Minbari have carefully preserved their cities over the course of centuries'.

Vir Cotto: That's right, absolutely.

Londo Mollari: No, what you should say instead is: 'Their cities are very old indicating a decaying culture.'

Vir Cotto: What?

Londo Mollari: And here: 'The Minbari put great emphasis on art, literature and music.' Say instead: 'They are decadent people, interested only in the pursuit of .. of dubious pleasures.' Dubious-part is very important. It doesn't mean anything, but it scares people every time. All right?

Londo Mollari: Vir, I had a thought. Why don't you represent our Republic in the talks today?

Vir Cotto: Me?

Londo Mollari: Yes, why not? You know the situation as well as I. It's the perfect oportunity to get your feet moist, as Earthlings say.

Vir Cotto: I actually don't think it's a wise idea for me -

Londo Mollari: Nonsense! I have every confidence in you. Which is why I'm giving you full diplomatic authority. Be proud, my boy! You are now the voice of the mighty Centauri Empire!

Vir Cotto: Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!

Londo Mollari: That's the spirit! Go now! I'll be along later to see how you're doing.

Vir Cotto: Yes, sir!

Londo Mollari: And, Vir

Vir Cotto: Yes, sir?

Londo Mollari: Don't give away the Homeworld.

Susan Ivanova: Lennier, get us the hell out of here.

Lennier: Initiating 'getting the hell out of here' maneuver.

Londo Mollari: [to Vir] What do you want, you moon-faced assassin of joy?

Londo Mollari: Vir, there is a terrible truth: As one accumulates power, one loses friends. One only has those who wish to use you, and those you wish to use. And yet, in all of this, you have somehow managed to walk through the corridors of power and not be touched. I can only assume you have not been paying attention.

John Sheridan: Commander! Did you threaten to grab hold of this man by the collar and throw him out an airlock?

Susan Ivanova: Yes I did.

John Sheridan: I'm shocked. Shocked and dismayed. I'd remind you that we are short on supplies here. We can't afford to take perfectly good clothing and throw it out into space. Always take the jacket off first, I've told you that before. Sorry, she meant to say: 'Stripped naked and thrown out an airlock.' I apologize for any confusion this may have caused.

Londo Mollari: These are my three wives: pestilence, famine and death. Do you think I married them for their personalities? Arranged marriages every one, but they worked out, they inspired me. Knowing that they were waiting at home for me is what keeps me here 75 light years away.

John Sheridan: The universe doesn't give you any points for doing things that are easy.

Susan Ivanova: No, I'll just get used to it. If it gets too bad I'll just gnaw it off at the ankle.

Londo Mollari: Now out of that 50, how many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with G'Kar's teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?

Vir Cotto: All of them?

Londo Mollari: Sounds right. And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to give quadrant 37 to the Narns. I think I will stick my head in the station's fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while I might even come to enjoy it. But this -- this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by .. what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack'...

Vir Cotto: Cats.

Londo Mollari: Cats. I'm being nibbled to death by cats.

G'Kar: But we can't be free, till we learn to laugh at ourselves. Once you look in the mirror and see just how foolish we can be. Laughter is inevitable. And from laughter comes wisdom.

Londo Mollari: These are my three wives: Pestilence, famine, and death

Delenn: There are beings in the universe billions of years older than any of our races. They walked among the stars like giants, vast, timeless. They created great empires, taught the new races, explored beyond the rim. The oldest of the ancients are the Shadows. We have no other name for them.

Delenn: We are the universe, trying to understand itself.

G'Kar: If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth... for understanding. Too often, we assume that the light on the wall is God, but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the sense of revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does not search - who does not bring a lantern - sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light... pure and unblemished... not understanding that it comes from us. Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the center of the universe - God looks astonishingly like we do - or we turn to look at our shadow and assume that all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty and in all its flaws; and in so doing, better understand the world around us.

Lennier: What kind of drink is that?

Vir Cotto: I'm not sure. The bartender called it a 'Shirley Temple'.

Lennier: Interesting. I've studied many earth religions and I don't think I've ever heard of that particular temple.

Vir Cotto: Me neither. But, it's real good.

Lennier: Well then. I shall make a point to visit it on my next trip to earth.

Vir Cotto: Prophecy is a guess that comes true. When it doesn't, it's a metaphor.

Londo Mollari

[singsong] Everybody's cute, everybody's cute, even me. But in purple i'm stunning [collapses]

Vir Cotto: Ahh, he has become one with his inner self.

Michael Garibaldi: He's passed out.

Vir Cotto: That too.

Vir Cotto: [stuttering] The council meeting, the emergency session.

Londo Mollari: The council, the council can go to hell, and the emergency session can go to hell.

Londo Mollari: And you, you can go to hell, too, I wouldn't want you to feel left out.

Timov: I won't bite Vir.

Vir Cotto: With all due respect, Madam. That's not - what I've heard.

Timov: All right, that one time.

Vir Cotto: It was twice.

Major Ryan: He spent the last year putting his people in key places. Anyone who raises a voice is immediately arrested and charged with treason. Under conditions like that, it's .. it's easier to keep quiet.

General William Hague: Everything's gone to hell, John. God help us all. You're on your own.

Vir Cotto: I thought the purpose of filing these reports was to provide accurate intelligence.

Londo Mollari: Vir, intelligence has nothing to do with politics.

Alfred Bester: If I had my talent working I could have warned when he was coming.

Michael Garibaldi: And if I had a baseball bat, I could hang you from the ceiling and play pinata.

Alfred Bester: A pinata, huh? So, you think of me as something bright and cheerful, full of toy and candy for young childern. Thank you. That makes me feel much better about our relationship.

John Sheridan: I don’t get it, Michael. I truly don’t. I mean, after a while, you’d think this would get a little easier. But lately… it feels like it’s all falling apart. Everything is fraying at the edges. I mean, instead of everybody trying to hold things together, I feel like they’re all grabbing at threads and pulling in a hundred different directions.

Michael Garibaldi: Do you really want an answer to that?

John Sheridan: You got one?

Michael Garibaldi: Yeah… Why is it that we always break up our history by the wars, not the years of peace? The Hundred Years War, the War of 1812, the first three World Wars, the Dilgar War, the War of the Shining Star, the Minbari War, the Shadow War… Why the war, but not the peace? Because it’s exciting. And because, on some level, people like to see something big fall apart and explode from the inside out. And right now, John, we’re that something.

Susan Ivanova: I swear, if we'll live through this, someone is going to find their automatic shower-preferences reprogrammed for ice-water.

John Sheridan: Always plant a lie inside a truth, makes it easier to swallow.

"Here, 'They are tolerant of differences among other cultures.'" "Yes." "No, make that: 'They have no well-defined sense of morality.' They'll love that back home." -- Londo and Vir in Babylon 5:"Point of No Return" "Opinion doesn't enter into it. What is, is. Prophecy said one day we would unite with the other half of our soul in a war with the ancient enemy. This we have done." "Prophecies are poor guide to the future. You only understand it when the events are already upon you. And .. not all of the prophecies are good ones. There's darkness and fire still ahead of us. There are no guarantees that any of us will survive it." -- Lennier and Delenn in Babylon 5:"Ceremonies of Light and Dark"